General Thoughts on Pregnancy So Far:
*Disclaimer* I wrote the first part of this blog in November and never posted it. So, this is somewhat old info until the next asterisk section that is my current update.
First Trimester: No food, please. I’m hungry, but I hate everything. Why does shampoo smell SO BAD?!?!? Menu: Yogurt and sourdough toast. Mostly naps and trying to survive daily life. Prenatal’s suck.
Second Trimester: I WANT FOOD AND I WANT IT NOW. GIVE ME ALL OF IT. Favorites: Sour patch watermelons, nerds gummies (best new discovery), chocolate caramels, peanut butter/saltines, cinnamon raisin bagels with cream cheese, decaf pumpkin coffee from Salt City or Dunkin’, anything from any baked section in any store ever. Why does shampoo STILL smell SO BAD!?!?! Generally just trying not to cry at the drop of a hat while I’m also feeling like I should because my life is HARD right now. Finally found good prenatal gummies and I even like them! People have told me that it’s great because you don’t have your period. I, however, would say that it’s a period all of the time so you just get used to it. Cramps, cravings, messed up sleep, haywire emotions, heat flashes and it just keeps getting more interesting.
The biggest struggle is dealing with expectations I’ve had or that others have mistakenly set for me. Sometimes I feel so weak compared to what I think a pregnant mom should be able to do. I’m working and parenting and somehow feel like I should “feel good” and I wonder how other mom’s with much younger kids handle life. I am doing all of it but it’s a constant struggle to stay afloat and work through tiredness. Whatever mysterious second trimester “feel good” energy there is, it’s definitely not there for me. However, I know that it’s unnecessary to compare. I am proud of how I am doing even as I struggle through my daily life and learn
As a general summary, this has been a wild experience. When people asked me in my first trimester how pregnancy was, I told them they shouldn’t ask me because I will most likely turn every single person against pregnancy forever. Coming into my second trimester after seeing our little baby at my 20-week sonogram, I feel very very differently. I feel like I have a sense of purpose that is so new and so important. It’s something so humbling and powerful that I didn’t think I even needed. Right now I can’t even find competent words to describe it and I hope to at some point. But, for now, I’d say that if you asked me about pregnancy I’d be all for it.
*NEWLY UPDATED SECTION*
Third Trimester: Now, this is the time I should be asked about pregnancy. Because this part is pretty cool. It’s just as hard as it was earlier but in a very different way and it’s much more rewarding with subtle reminders of this little girl growing inside of me all the time. She moves, kicks, punches and hiccups (SO CUTE). She can tell the difference between night and day, think for herself, hear my voice, taste flavors of food I’m eating and open her dazzling baby eyes. This amazing human is literally growing inside me and my body is helping her do it. It’s amazing. When I think that I’ll get to meet her in just 8 weeks I get so excited. She’s been such a part of me for so long and to finally have a face to match to the sensations I feel and life I’m supporting will be SO COOL.
Pregnancy has changed me inside and (definitely) out. I really think God planned this timing because of how much I needed to change in some areas of my life. I was so focused on trying to “do” something and figure out who I was in this still somewhat new family life. I kept forcing things on myself and trying to come up with good ideas to pursue. I was so emotionally tired and there were things I didn’t understand about myself. This time of pregnancy has pressed pause on all my grand “becoming” type plans and has shown me who I am without the agenda. God has set my course for right now and it is to rest into a new stage of motherhood. To take time to refocus on my health in every way – not just physically. I’ve been breaking patterns of co-dependency, letting go of past relational pain and releasing the life of anxiety that I have lead for a long time. It has been extremely powerful and I am so grateful for this shift of direction – as scary as it is. Which it really is. I still have meltdowns about not being ready and I wonder how I’m going to do this. But I come out knowing that this beautiful little life inside of me has meaning and that I was chosen along with our little family to love and support and guide her. I take great hope and purpose in this and I don’t need to know anything else right now. This assignment is the best assignment I have ever received. I am getting closer to the heart of God and I couldn’t ask for anything more. It’s exactly where I’m meant to be.
By the way, our daughter’s name is Magnolia Jeanne Bateman and she is due March 18th, 2023.
I am in the process of creating an email list where I will send photos of her when I get the chance, along with some updates that won’t make it to the blog. If you haven’t signed up yet and are interested in doing so, visit the “Subscribe” section of this blog and you’ll see a header that says, “Send me a personal message or sign up for IR:news” along with text boxes for you to enter your name, email and a comment to submit. That will add you to my roster of emails to add to my newsletter once I get it up and running.
I honestly have so much more I’d love to talk to you about and I have a million future plans for this blog but for now just know that I appreciate you and your comments and your involvement here. Feel free to write me your thoughts or your own pregnancy story in the comments below.
With love and deep gratitude,
Sheralyn (+Magnolia)
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