I’m not one to usually share a lot about my life through the lens of being a performing musician. But tonight, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. I miss it terribly. I left the stage as a songwriter about 4 1/2 years ago and it was the best decision I could have made at the time. But tonight I’m remembering and I feel like sharing it with you. I’m tired so not much writing, just some pictures that matter. More to come on this whole music thing later.
This was one of my earliest shoots when I was trying to make posters and adds for gigs and needed to show that I was a functioning human being…Back then I had very low self confidence. I look now and I realize that I didn’t really see the beauty and the gem that I was. Today, after the break and much personal growth, I can look back at these photos and see things I could have never seen before. This photo was taken by my friend and artist Jordan Randall.Fast forward to my last shoot back in 2018 when I was preparing for the launch of my EP. It was a freezing day and Green Lakes is still one of my favorite places. Lottie Caiella took these for me and she made my pixie cut look not so teen boyish…I had to do something huge when I finished recording my EP. It had been such a long time coming and it took so much from me. I felt so different after finishing the album that I decided to mark it with the most insane thing I could think of. I loved every moment of it. Though the first look at the cut was quite the shock!My first solo show. People said they liked my songs and I couldn’t believe them.Prepping for one of my last shows. People said they liked my songs. I still couldn’t believe them.This one marks one of the most important things I ever did. I wrote a song about my recently deceased Mom and I recorded it in the house I grew up in as my Dad and I prepared to move. It was heartbreaking and perfect. It was better than any words I could have ever spoken about her and far more graceful than how I ever felt that I handled those years that followed. I still feel this way even now. R. Aaron Walters did a big service to the world when he helped me work out this song. It’s called “Greenwood Pl.” but if you listen to it be ready to cry. I always do!And here we are. Aaron playing piano and me singing the very song I mentioned above at the release party for my EP. I still look back and can’t remember any moment brighter, bigger, or better in my life. It wasn’t a crowd of 100’s or a chart topper. But it was me, being honest with myself, in front of my friends and family. That was something I could never do before I started writing music. This whole musician life gave me so much and still gives me so much. Looking back now I really see that in that moment my dreams became my reality.
Thanks for letting me share this with you. Maybe look back a little on your own life and find some of the things that were special to you. Let’s not forget what has brought us to today. Every moment had a purpose. Big, small, good, bad. You’re here because you’re supposed to be. I’m a music teacher now. I would have never known that I would influence others like me to pursue the very thing I got to do. And they like me! What?!?
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